More About Me

I finally turned 62, and got my Senior Lifetime National Park pass. I'm also a nomad, and a hiker. I used to explore caves too. On top of that I have struggled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since I was a teenager. It was the worst when I was in high school. During that time I was hospitalized three times, and nobody helped me. The OCD always came back. My last hospitalization was in 1981, and a kindhearted, elderly, psychiatrist helped me with a new and slightly effective medication. I saw him for nearly 10 years, until he died of a heart attack. 

I had no close friends, But in 1992, I joined a caving group in Chicago, called The Windy City Grotto, of the National Speleological Society. We had countless, long road trips to Indiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia, to explore some of the most beautiful and deepest caves in the United States. I quickly made many close friends, and I was having the best time of my life. Being outside, above and below ground helped me battle the nagging OCD and depression.

However, a few months after I started caving, tragedy struck my family. I had my own apartment, and my dad was at my front door early in the morning.  My mom had committed suicide. It is incredibly sad to lose a parent in that manner. Like me, she also suffered from OCD, and was an alcoholic. That made me think that I was heading down the same path, because I was binge drinking to calm my anxieties.

However, the alcohol always multiplied my depression the next day. For this reason I made an enormous change and I went to an AA meeting. At first I was skeptical of the 12 steps. It took me a few months to realize that AA was where I needed to be, and I stopped drinking on October 11, 1995. Today the people in my AA Wanderers Group are like my family. I had found  a healthy way to deal with my anxieties.

About six years ago, I finally found a highly effective therapist, Dr. Dustin Siegel, PsyD, and he knew exactly how to treat me with Exposure Response Prevention. For six years I saw him in Chicago, and he helped me more than anybody in my life. I am forever grateful for his exceptional therapy. Now I am in Arizona and he is in Chicago, but we still have periodic sessions over the phone. Everyday I still have problems with OCD, but I'm doing the best ever. However, it's never easy. It takes constant vigilance.

As I get older I am learning what works to manage my irrational anxieties. I'm also an introvert, but I love caving and hiking with friends, and I also enjoy backpacking and hiking alone. I have found freedom from OCD through nature, and I have wonderful friends, whom have helped me through tough times.

Becoming a Rambler

On March 31, 2018, I sold my condo in Arlington Heights, Illinois, and quit my job at Target. Five years earlier, my dad died suddenly from coronary artery disease, and left me enough money to buy a condo. But after five years, I was tired of the high property tax, bored of the Chicago suburbs, and hated the long cold winters.

I was excited about moving to Arizona, but leaving can be sad as well. My first AA sponsor, Bill D., had pancreatic cancer, and was in hospice care. He had saved my life, and now was going to die soon. We had been friends since 1995. I saw him one last time before I left. It was a solemn moment while I sat at his bedside holding his hand. This was our last conversation. At last, I hugged him and we said goodbye, each knowing it was the final farewell. I headed to the door, and took my last look at Bill, and walked down the hall. At that moment my grief outweighed my new adventure. Two weeks later I was in Arizona, and Bill's sister called me. She told me that Bill had died.

Eventually I landed a job in Phoenix, at REI in October. So I traded in my Honda Civic for a Honda CRV. The CRV had a lot more room. Then I built a bed in back with the help of my good friend and fellow caver Bill Owens, who lives in Golden Valley, Arizona. I really enjoyed the job at REI. Like me, everyone had a passion for the outdoors. It was easy for me to talk to my co-workers, but hard for me to speak to customers. Unfortunately, the job at REI was seasonal, and I was awful at selling stuff. That job ended on January 19th, 2019.

I didn't find another job until June, when I landed a part time job as a delivery driver at Auto Zone. This was in the rural town of Wickenburg, at the northern edge of the Sonoran Desert. However, I don't know anything about auto parts, and most of the job was selling, and very little delivering.  Additionally, I had nothing in common with my coworkers. They were entirely absorbed in cars, and I was more interested in trails, rattlesnakes, and scorpions. I also had great difficulty speaking with customers and looking up parts on the computer cash register. Fortunately the store wasn't busy.

I slept in the in the back of my Honda for the summer outside of town near Vulture Peak. After sundown I always enjoyed photographing scorpions near my campsite. I can now identify three species of scorpions, the bark scorpion, stripe tailed scorpion, and my favorite the giant desert hairy scorpion. Then when I was ready for bed I would open all  my car doors, and hatchback, and set up mosquito netting inside to keep away all the night flying insects. Unfortunately, It didn't drop below 90 degrees until after midnight and that made sleep uncomfortable. Finally in September I quit my job at Auto Zone and got a part time job at Walmart in the Phoenix, suburb of Peoria.

At Walmart I worked in the garden center, hardware, sporting goods, automotive and maintenance. I worked there for 18 months and slept in the desert near Lake Pleasant. But the 115 degree summer heat was too much, and on May 7, 2021, I transferred to a Walmart in Cottonwood, and did maintenance full time. This is the high desert of the Verde Valley at about 3,500 feet elevation, and located in the transition zone between the Sonoran Desert to the south, and the Colorado Plateau to the north. The summer nights here were comfortable for sleeping outside.

Then in October of 2021, I traded in my Honda CRV for a 2013 Honda Odyssey mini van. Now I have a lot more room. The winter nights are often cold but I stay warm under a layer of blankets. Although, at night the temperature sometimes drops into the 20s, so on my days off from work I often travel down to the Sonoran Desert near Phoenix.

But before autumn approached again, I decided to go somewhere warmer. I had enough of the cold winter nights in the Verde Valley. So on September 9th, I headed down to Apache Junction, because I got a maintenance job at the Walmart in Mesa. I camp out on Peralta Road now located in Gold Canyon. 

Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument